Thursday, July 18, 2013
Letting it all out.. Learning, Growing, and Finding Faith along the Journey
This is a different kind of post. It's not about a killer workout I just did or about some great new recipe. It's about life. My life.
Only my close friends and family know what kind of hell I went through last year and I feel the need to blog it out so that I can share my story and possibly see for myself just how much I have grown since.
Last year, my husbands job took him to California and he was to live in Las Vegas, Nevada. We have two smaller kids and I had zero desire to move my kids to Las Vegas so I made the choice to stay home in Colorado and continue on with our kids in their school. My husband would make trips home monthly and we would figure things out as we went on this new journey. I'm not gonna lie, I tried so hard to be a strong mother and wife and keep things at home under control and flowing, but there were days that I wanted to crawl into a hole and just cry my eyes out or die. I am a pretty self-sufficient person and I can handle most situations, but the lonely days and nights were pretty tough.
Cooking for myself and two kids was a whole different ball game as well! We lived on spaghetti and lots of small snack type meals. I tried new things like making a big meal and having leftovers or freezing for later.. yeah, that's not really our thing. It didn't work out well. We didn't starve and made it through but it was def an experience.
My husbands trips home were always really good, but they always included him having to help me catch up on things around the house so the weekend always flew by and I never really felt like I got enough time with him. We sent our fair share of emails, pictures, texts.. had tons of phone conversations and Skype time, but it's never really the same as being with that person one on one. Again, we made it work.
So while my husband was away making a living to support our family, I really dug my heels into what I wanted for myself and that's a living in health and fitness. I really connect with others on weight loss journeys and trying to figure out how and when and what to do when it comes to a workout plan. I enjoy it. I'm a fitness freak so it only makes sense. I signed up for a personal training certification workshop and went for it. That weekend was so amazing for me! I learned so much and a month later, I found out I passed! I got my Personal Training certification! Now, I could really get my feet wet with clients. I had been doing what I could with "clients" online and in the gym, but now it was going to become a real opportunity to reach more people.
I was totally overwhelmed at first and didn't do anything with my cert for about 2 months.. Then I got hired on at the gym that I have been using for the past year and a half! I still have a lot of work to do in that.. Getting your name out there and getting clients isn't as easy as some might thing. I am making progress and have a couple clients lined up and also joined a couple other trainers at the gym to do WOW (Women on Weights). Exciting times :)
I also started my own online training site.. Find Yourself with Kelly and it's taking off pretty great too! Feeling very blessed with that. I named it Find Yourself with Kelly because I feel like before my weight loss journey, I did not know who I was. I was living life day to day with no real purpose, no self love, and no goals. It's kinda crazy how when you get your health on track, everything just falls into place. I know there are zillions of others out there in this world who know exactly what I am talking about and those are the people I hope to reach. We are all beautiful people who sometimes get lost in this crazy world.
Another part of the journey for me has been my walk with God. I have always felt like I was walking pretty close to Him, but then I realized I wasn't quite as close as I thought. Once I realized that, I made a huge effort to get closer! I joined a Life Group and started attending church with friends in my life group and wow!!! I was not where I thought I was, but I was on my way! I was baptized on May 4th, 2013.
My faith has deepened more than I can express and it has absolutely prepared me for how life is going at this very moment.
My husband worked in California for almost 15 months and has been home now for 4 months and it's been sooooooo good having him home full time again, but things are fixing to change again. I'm not sure of all the details yet, but I do know that whatever happens, we will survive because we have FAITH and we choose to. I will trust in the Lord and I will not be afraid. Every single time I hear the voice of fear creeping into my head, I push it out and think about life's experiences and how each and every one of them have made me who I am and I am stronger for it. Don't get me wrong, I have my weak moments, but they don't last long.